Keep Leading!® Podcast 136 | Simon T. Bailey | Resilience@Work

Hello, everyone. I’m Eddie Turner. Welcome to Keep Leading® LIVE. I work with leaders to accelerate performance and drive impact and Keep Leading® LIVE is dedicated to leadership development and insights.Please, if you are joining us live, tell us who you are, tell us in the chat. We’d like to have an interactive conversation. We know it’s in the middle of the workday but if you’re available to listen to our guest today, we’d love to have you tell us who you are and where you’re located.

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Today, I want to tell you all about or introduce you to one of the few men that actually when I look at his wardrobe, it makes me jealous. This man is one of the most dignified and sophisticated gentlemen you will ever meet. He is a certified speaking professional and a member of the Hall of Fame for Speakers. I’m talking about none other than Simon T. Bailey. Simon T. Bailey is a beacon of transformation and personal development by guiding individuals and organizations toward peak performance and personal fulfillment. He is recognized on the top 25 for Success Magazine. Leaders Hum in 2023 recognized him as one of the top 200 leaders on the power list. Gotham Artists Keynote Speakers list has him ranked in the top 25. He’s written 11 books. He’s produced 14 groundbreaking courses on the LinkedIn learning platform that have been translated into eight languages and consumed by over a half million professionals in more than 100 countries.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am so excited to welcome Simon T. Bailey. Simon, welcome.

Hello, my friend. So good to be with you again.

Yes. ‘Again’ is the right word. I should’ve said welcome back. You are my first official repeat guest.

Wow! I’m honored. Thank you, sir.

Oh man! The honor is all mine. I mean, you were just a tremendous hit the first time you came on and your quotes are memorable and powerful. And so, I’m just excited to have you back to talk about your new book.

Yes, yes, latest book, Resilience at Work – How to Coach Yourself into A Thriving Future.

Indeed. And so, that really struck a chord with a lot of people when I posted this online. So, we’re going to talk about the book but before we get into the book, is there anything else I missed about you, your wonderful background that you’d like to tell us about.

Most importantly, I’m the husband of Jodie, father to four amazing children, and G. Pop (inaudible), our granddaughter who’s two years old.

G. Pop. All right. Very nice, very nice. Well, tell us about resilience at work.

So, resilience at work is really understanding how do you bounce back better, how do you ensure that you are better, not bitter, how do you bend, not break, in the midst of change and transformation and all the buzzword that we’re hearing. And I tell the story of four personality archetypes plus one that meet at a surfing camp. Surfing is a great metaphor to use for resilience. And these four personality types are called Hurry, Worry, Ready, and Steady. So, as you can imagine, Hurry and Worry want to learn from Ready and Steady how do they understand resilience at work and coach themselves into a thriving future.

Hurry, Worry, Ready, and Steady. That sounds like you were doing a little rapping over there, Mr. Simon. I don’t know if I should start dancing or what. Now, listen, I like that and how it identifies, obviously, characters but I love how you said that if we master this, it’ll make us better instead of bitter, but I missed the second line of that.

Yeah. So, it’s you can bend but not break.

Bend but not break. Oh, I love that.

Many people experience resilience and they just kind of bend and then they break and you’re like “What happened?” No. Go through the process. Stay the course.

Oh man, that is so important. That is what happens. And then if you are able to stay the course in the end, you’re all the more better.

Yes.

Good, good. Now, when we look at that component, there’s three keys that you walk through that I want to talk about, but I understand that when you wrote this, you decided that it’s not just enough to present some content. We want to put some meat on the bones, as we would say, my parents, growing up. Tell us about the research that you did in the whitepaper that’s forthcoming.

So, we went out and did some research, a thousand Americans, specifically looking at the state of working America. And what we discovered is that 48% of working Americans are worried about the future. 56% of working Americans are living life in a hurry. They really don’t take time to enjoy their life. And I should say that in our research whitepaper, it’s about a 95% confidence level with a 3.1% margin of error. And I share that with you because we wanted to just understand are people really worried and are people in a hurry and how does that impact productivity, performance, and innovation. So, when a person is worried about the future, their brain actually slows down, according to some of the work out of Princeton University Psychology Department. And when the brain slows down because of worry, it doesn’t create neurogenesis which is the process of growing neurons which grows the brain. So, we have to begin to look at worry through a different lens and help people understand how to shift over to being ready and steady.

That’s important. And I think probably the first reaction people would have is that “Wow! With everything that is going on, be it personally or professionally, I can’t help but worry.” And so, you said that there’s a solution to this, there’s a step we can take. Can you give us just one thing, if I’m a worrier, that I can do?

Yes. So, thank you for asking this particular question. one of the things that we introduce is this process that I work with a clinical psychologist. And it’s the question of what do you want for you. And the reason that becomes the question, that’s kind of like the Control-Alt-Delete question as it relates to worry, because so many times we’re focused on everyone else but, Eddie, when we step back and say “What do I want for me?”, you’re inviting yourself to be a part of the solution to your breakthrough.

Wonderful. And the computer guy and me and the generation that you and I are, I love the Control-Alt-Delete, the reset for our younger audience members, that is definitely what that refers to. I love that. Thank you very much, Simon.And speaking about our younger audience members, some of your research, I understand, from the book really circles around this idea of generations.

Yes. One of the things we found out in our research, Eddie, is that 46% of working Americans think that their manager cares less about remote workers with 52% being the highest amongst Gen Z, those from 20 to 26 years of age. So, if you think about that Gen-Z, just starting out in their career and they’re working remote, and if that manager does not intentionally connect with them, as we remember the old saying “out of sight out of mind.” So, then the question becomes how do we double-click on helping managers ensure that remote workers know that they’re cared for. Number one, reaching out to them, asking how are you doing. Number two, understanding their recognition language. Research says one minute spent on recognition creates 100 minutes of initiative. And then number three, always finding a way to tell people what they’re doing right instead of what they’re doing wrong, because when you’re working remote, you’re removed from everyone else and you’re like “Is what I’m doing, does it matter? Does it add value?” So, managers double clicking on that and making sure people know that they are seen, valued, and understood.

You’re saying that it only takes one minute of recognition?

One minute of recognition, appreciation, value that fills their cup, feeds their soul. All of a sudden, Eddie, I know that you just recognized me for doing something right. I’m going to go the extra step not because I have to but because I want to.

Are you saying then that managers that tell me “I don’t have time to babysit. I don’t have time to do” some of these other phrases that they say, that really doesn’t carry much weight then.

You know what, Eddie? I was that manager. So, I was at Disney and I ran an adult daycare center and I ran it with the mindset “You should be happy to have a job. I don’t have time for recognition” until Organizational Development sat me down and they were about to invite me to find my happiness elsewhere. So, that’s when I had the epiphany as they begin to walk me through taking time to recognize what people are doing right instead of what they’re doing wrong. I was a micromanager to the nth degree. I was a boss with an agenda instead of a leader with a vision. And once, I stepped back to say “Wait a minute. When that alarm clock goes off on Monday morning, are people excited to come and work with me instead of for me?” And what I organized, I had to shift because I was not building resilience in individuals. I was driving them away.

I love that. I love that. Thank you very much, Simon.And let me just invite a few of our audience members in. Thank you to those who’ve joined. First, we have Tiffany Horton. Tiffany Horton has joined us from LinkedIn and she says “He spoke at our leadership training event. Absolutely incredible. Good stuff.” We appreciate you joining and making your voice heard.

Cheryl Brinkley joins and she loves you saying “G-Pop, congratulations on your book” and she liked what you said about Hurry, Worry, Ready, and Steady and your quote about bend, not break. And finally, Cheryl is summarizing what you said. She’s doing some great work for us. Cheryl! What do you want for you? Huge question that she asked and she says “Happiest place on earth, adult daycare. What a turnaround in thinking.” We appreciate that.

One final person whose ID is not shown but they are coming to us from LinkedIn echoes your words, “Recognition goes a long way.”

So, thank you to those who joined us and sent us a couple of comments. We appreciate your contribution. And if you are listening and we haven’t heard from you yet, go ahead, put in your comments, put in a question for Simon that you’d like for him to answer and feel free to hit the share button so that members in your community can see the recording of this conversation.

Wonderful. Now, going back to the idea about remote work, there’s a lot being made of this today and the Wall Street Journal seems like there’s not a day that I don’t pick up the paper and a new organization is mandated, get back to work. To your point, out of sight out of mind, and there’s been conversation about how all the virtual meetings are breaking the vibe, as young people would say, that you’re not able to build that community, you’re not able to build the cultural norm because so many people are away. And so, it sounds like this idea of resilience at work really gets to that.

Yeah, it really invites people into a conversation to say “Okay, we are demanding that people come back to work but is there an opportunity that when they come back to work, we also give the option to work from home or to work hybrid?” And I think it’s that option and that flexibility which is one of the number one things people are looking for right now – “How do I have a flexible workplace where I can still be my most brilliant self and I can still connect and get a little FaceTime with the powers to be but I also can flex and go … as I drive value and help the organization grow and expand?”

Excellent. You make a point in your book about coaching yourself. Now, normally, when I saw that, I said “know if anybody else had said this, I would push back as a coach, right?” I don’t really want a lot of people coaching themselves, Simon, but in your book, you’re teaching how to coach yourself. So, I got to go with it when the great Simon Bailey says it. Tell us about the reason you said that this is something you’re teaching and something that leaders should be doing.

First of all, let me say you should absolutely have a certified coach who can help you look through the windshield of where you’re going instead of the rearview mirror of where you’ve been, absolutely. And you should understand how to coach yourself to a thriving future. The questions are “What am I feeling about where I am right now as it relates to my work that?” That’s the emotional question that I think I wish someone would have told me years ago but then the third coaching question to ask yourself because the best hand that will feed you in any economy is the one at the end of your wrist and here’s the question. “What step am I willing to take to get what I want?” In other words, if companies have closed their adult daycare center, they’re not going to babysit you, hold your hand, saying “Kumbaya! Plan your career.” Where we are right now, Eddie, people have to understand that there’s a difference between a job, a career, and a calling. So, when you ask yourself “What step am I willing to take?”, you are looking at your career as if it’s a portfolio and say “How do I reinvest in myself by growing my portfolio of skills and not waiting for the company to tap me on the shoulder and tell me to reskill, upskill, be more productive? No, I’m going to do it myself so that I move from surviving to thriving.”

Indeed. And the idea of building your own portfolio of skills, I like that phrasing, and not waiting for the company. I wrote an article in Forbes and that’s one of the points I made. Don’t wait for the company to invest in you because so often people say “Well, if the company’s not paying, I’m not going to do it.” No, you’re your biggest stakeholder. Invest in yourself.

Absolutely.

Be a continuous learner like yourself. I see the doctoral hat back there behind you. Tell us about that.

Oh, my goodness! Cleary University, a 138-year-old institution out of Howell, Michigan, honored me with doctorate in Business Administration for the global impact that we have and I’m so honored that they would do it for me.

Congratulations. And I understand that’s just one of three for you as a continuous learner and you’ve been recognized by institutions of higher learning because of your learning and your contribution to the world.One of the things you also get into is this idea … looks like I’m missing a comment here from Cheryl. She says “Powerful questions you just shared to unlock your power.” Thank you, Cheryl. And Tiffany says “Yes, absolutely. Grateful to have people in my life to guide me.” Good.

And of course, we do want you, even when you do use an executive coach or a career coach, whoever it may be, at some point, obviously, when we talk about coaching yourself, you have to think for yourself, obviously. So, I was just kind of doing a little jest there but good stuff, Simon.

And you address the issue of how we can face challenges as a part of this being resilient. Share more about that if you would.

So, one of the things to recognize is everything that I’ve studied over the last 35 years, real success is not just being at the top of the mountain but it’s the pain that you experience in the valley. So, for instance, you have a job that has been reimagined a few times and you have experienced the pain and suffering or what we call challenge. I invite you to lean into that and receive it for who you become in the process because if it was easy, Eddie, everybody would be doing it. So, the challenge comes to invite you to discover the potential that is in you but that potential or that resilience would never come to the forefront unless you’ve been challenged. So, here’s the net-net. What resilience really does is it helps you understand that fortitude is the new attitude. Fortitude is courage under fire. So, when I’m challenged, what you begin to realize is that change is inevitable but growth is optional. And when I say yes to the change, I say no to everything else. So, sometimes you have to say yes to protect your no, no to all the distractors that say “You know what, you’re not going to get through this challenge.” No, I’m absolutely going to get through the challenge because there is a new neural pathway that’s being developed that will develop the muscle called resilience.

And that’s important that neural pathway is established because it really is a rewiring of the previous thinking.

Absolutely. So many people, Eddie, say “You know what, I’m getting ready to retire.” No, you’re getting ready to rewire.

Don’t ever retire. Rewire. I love it. I love it. Don’t retire, rewire. Looks like you’re going to have a trademark phrase there. I like that, Simon.

Now, if you use it, you going to have to send me a little something.

I know but you have.And Cheryl’s created a hashtag for you, #Fortitudeisthenewattitude”.

Yes.

There we go. I love it. Now, if someone were to look at your catalog of books, those 11 books, they’ll see one word from the beginning is a thread that goes through and that word is ‘brilliance’. That word has special meaning to you. And even in your newsletter, you address people with the phrase “Oh, brilliant one.” Tell us about the meaning of that word to you and how it made you the world’s leading expert on brilliance.

A number of years ago, 25 years to be exact, my mentor said to me “You weren’t born to fit in. You were born to be brilliant.” And he was the first person that had ever said that to me. And I was playing small. And so, literally, I just went on a journey of just trying to understand brilliance. So, Dr. Howard Gardner, professor of Education at Harvard, did some research and what he discovered is that children up until the age of four are operating at the genius level. Same group of children studying in their early 20s and only 10% were operating at the genius or what I call the brilliance level. And in their late 20s, early 30s, only 2% were still operating in genius or brilliance. So, the question is where did the genius or brilliance go. It didn’t go anywhere but it became buried by a society that says color and width of the line, sit down, give it back. So, Eddie, we define brilliance today and in our research in our white paper, it comes out even more, it’s a system of wellbeing that unleashes your potential. So, when you are in an environment where you are celebrated rather than tolerated, that environment invites you to release your brilliance.

Beautiful. And I understand you have the new Brilliance You that you’ve started.

Yes, yes. So, we have our online university where people can literally on their phone connect with Be You Brilliant You where we’re equipping people with the skillset, the mindset, and the willpower to stay relevant in the economy. And really what we’re doing in Be You, Eddie, is we’re helping people understand how to practice AI, actual intelligence.

You threw a curveball there at me. You know where I thought you were going. I see what you did there. I see what you did there. All right. I love that. That is beautiful. That is beautiful, Simon. That’s another one you going to need to protect. I like that. Your newsletter, your most recent newsletter, you used a phrase that I just thought was so beautiful and so needed in the times that we’re living. You encourage your readers to hug people with their words. Tell my audience who’s listening and hasn’t read your newsletter yet, which they should subscribe to, what you meant by that?

What sparked the idea is David Brooks wrote an op-ed piece in the New York Times called The Rising Tide of Global Sadness. And he had did some research to basically say people around the world are hurting. In fact, he said the emotional health of the world is shattering. So, I said, wait a minute. We show up every day, Eddie, people walk by us, we meet people virtually. Do we take a moment to hug them with our words just to say something “How are you doing?”, “Oh, you look nice today”, “Thank you for holding the door,” asking them their name, just taking a moment to see another human being. That might be the kindest thing they’ve heard all day long. We all can do something because everybody may be dealing with something that we don’t know about. Could we just hug them with our words?

That is so beautiful. So, we’re going to make that … usually, it’s saying but I like that we got to encourage everybody who’s listening to us to go out and the hug somebody today with your words. That’s beautiful.Simon, I can talk to you for another hour. I am just so excited that you came and joined me again on my show. What’s the one takeaway if people don’t remember anything else of all the brilliant phrases you’ve left us with that you want everybody to remember?

What allowed hurry and worry to shift their thinking was ready and steady encourage them. So, here’s the takeaway. Encouragement is oxygen for the soul. Who can you encourage today on this journey called life?

Beautiful, beautiful.Tiffany Horton has weight in again from LinkedIn. Thank you for staying with us through the duration, Tiffany. She says “You two are great.” Simon is great. I love it. Thank you, Tiffany. We appreciate that. And Cheryl echoed at Tiffany Horton “I know, right? Beautiful. IKR” and fire.

Excellent. And tell us your favorite leadership quote that allow you to keep leading.

Wow! So, this one, I’ve been working on this for 10 years. I think I finally got it to where I want it. “The job of a leader is not necessarily to motivate people. The job of a leader is to invite people on a journey to find the leader within themselves while they’re taking a walk with you.”

Yes. I like that. I like that. Thank you very much, Simon, for being here with us. And where can my listeners learn more about you?

Yep, they can go to SimonTBailey.com.

So, visit SimonTBailey.com. Follow him on LinkedIn, all the social media where you find Simon, subscribe to his newsletter, pick up a copy of Resilience at Work and you will truly be enriched and all the better for it.Simon, thanks again for being here on the Keep Leading Podcast to join me.

Thank you.

And thank you, everyone. That concludes this episode of the Keep Leading Podcast. I’m Eddie Turner, The Leadership Excelerator®, reminding you that leadership is not about our title or our position. We can lead from wherever we are in an organization because it’s about activity, it’s about action. Once you’re a leader, you’re always a leader. It’s not a garment that we put on and take off. We must be a leader and allow it to emanate from our core, from everything that we do. So, no matter what you’re doing, always keep leading.