KL024: Meaningful Conversations

//KL024: Meaningful Conversations

KL024: Meaningful Conversations

Marcia Reynolds, PsyD, MCC
#1 Female Coach in the World and Past President of the International Coach Federation
Meaningful Conversations

Episode Summary
I interviewed Marcia Reynolds, who is rated the top female coach in the world and is global expert in holding mind-changing conversations, to learn how leaders can have meaningful conversations even when they are difficult.

Bio
Marcia Reynolds, PsyD, Master Certified Coach, is fascinated by the brain, especially what triggers feelings of connection, commitment, and possibility. She draws on her research as she helps coaches and leaders make every conversation is a difference-making experience. She has provided executive coaching and leadership training programs in 41 countries.

Dr. Reynolds is the Training Director for the Healthcare Coaching Institute at Virginia Tech. She was the 5th global president of the International Coach Federation. She is also visiting faculty for the International Coach Academy in Russia and Create China Coaching in China. She is recognized by the Global Gurus top 30 as the #3 coach in the world. Her executive clients see her as a thinking partner as she helps them navigate the ambiguity and surprises of leadership.

Interviews and excerpts from Marcia’s books Outsmart Your Brain: How to Manage Your Mind When Emotions Take the Wheel; The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations into Breakthrough; and Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction, have appeared in many places including Fast Company, Psychology Today, and The Wall Street Journal.
Marcia’s doctoral degree is in organizational psychology and she has two master’s degrees in education and communications.

Website
https://www.outsmartyourbrain.com

How to use anger as a force for good | Marcia Reynolds | TEDxAtlanta
https://youtu.be/owZb9qub-RU

LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marciareynolds/

Twitter
https://twitter.com/MarciaReynolds

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/outsmartyourbrain/

Marcia Reynolds Amazon Author Page
https://www.amazon.com/Marcia-Reynolds/e/B001K8YN5Y?ref_=dbs_p_ebk_r00_abau_000000

Leadership Quote
“They want you to be present more than they need you to be perfect.”

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Transcript

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This podcast is sponsored by Grand Heron International, your online service provider for on-demand coaching and a wide range of services for coaches. Through a network of vetted credentialed coaches Grand Heron International offers coaching onsite, a professional coaching service for individuals seeking guidance. Whether you are a company committed to investing in your leaders and individuals seeking guidance or a coach searching for a superb network of coaches, visit GrandHeronInternational.com.

Welcome to the Keep Leading Podcast, a podcast dedicated to promoting leadership development and sharing leadership insights. Here’s your host, the Leadership Excelerator, Eddie Turner.

Eddie Turner:
Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Keep Leading Podcast, the podcast dedicated to leadership development and insights. I’m your host, Eddie Turner, the Leadership Excelerator. I work with leaders to accelerate performance and drive impact.

Would you like liked to have more meaningful conversations even when they’re difficult. If that is the case you’re going to want to pay attention to this episode. I this episode I have the honor of interviewing the top female coach in the world, a true pioneer in the field of coaching and emotional intelligence, Dr. Marcia Reynolds. She’s a global expert in holding mind-changing conversations. So she will explain to us how to have meaningful conversations even when they’re difficult. She’ll do that in and whole lot more right after this.

This podcast is sponsored by Eddie Turner LLC. Eddie Turner LLC delivers executive and leadership coaching, professional speaking, facilitation services, and management consulting across the globe. Eddie Turner LLC also creates voiceovers, serves as a master of ceremonies, as a panel and event moderator, and provides national media commentary. Visit EddieTurnerLLC.com to learn more.

Eddie Turner:
Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Keep Leading Podcast, the podcast dedicated to leadership development and insights. I’m your host Eddie Turner, the Leadership Excelerator. I work with leaders to accelerate performance and drive impact.

Would you like to learn how to have more meanwhile conversations even when they are difficult? If so, you want to listen to my guest today. I have with me Dr. Marcia Reynolds. Dr. Reynolds is a master certified coach. She has provided executive coaching and leadership training programs in 41 countries. Dr. Reynolds was the fifth global president of the International Coach Federation. She is also visiting faculty for the International Coach Academy in Russia and Create China Coaching in China. She is recognized as the top female coach in the world and number three overall. Interviews and excerpts from Dr. Reynolds’ books Out Smarter Brain, How To Manage Your Mind When Emotions Take The Wheel, The Discomfort Zone, How Leaders Turns Difficult Conversations Into Breakthroughs, and Wonder Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment And Direction have all appeared in many places including Fast Company, Psychology Today and the Wall Street Journal. Dr. Marcia Reynolds is truly an amazing person and this is why I’m so excited to have her on the show today.

Dr. Reynolds, welcome to the Keep Leading Podcast.

Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Thank you, Eddie. Thanks for asking me to be here.
Eddie Turner:
I’m just thrilled. Please tell us a little bit about you.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Well, as you were saying, I’ve been involved in coaching for a long time but I’ve been involved with leadership development for nearly 40 years. And it was my constant quest to find how people change their behavior that I finally found coaching and I think it’s the best technology we have for changing people’s minds, helping them to change and grow, and to build better companies.
Eddie Turner:
Wow! I’ve never heard anyone refer to coaching as a technology. Interesting word choice, I like that.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Well, my doctorate was in organizational psychology with an emphasis in neuroscience. So because of the powerful way that coaching impacts the brain differently from telling people what to do, giving them advice, mentoring them that we activate their brains in such a powerful way with coaching that it is definitely a technology.
Eddie Turner:
I like that. I am going to be using that, Marcia.

So I should probably share the fact that you are more than just a regular guest. You are somebody who I’ve watched from afar. I’ve read your work, I’ve seen you speak at conferences but later on I had the great fortune of meeting you in person as a client to speak at conferences for my own association when I was the president of the Association for Talent Development but also I have recently hired you to be my mentor, be my coach. And so I’ve enjoyed learning from you directly. And I completed a Coach Mastery Program with you and Dr. Dorothy Simonovic recently as well. So I want to just be able to share your wisdom with my audience. So I’m really excited to have you.

Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
That’s great, Eddie. It’s been really a pleasure working with you too because you’re so eager to be the best coach there is.
Eddie Turner:
Well, I figured if I’m going to be the best coach there is at the start by being coached by the best. So there we go.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Thank you.
Eddie Turner:
So you are known as a global expert not just in coaching but in holding mind changing conversations. That’s pretty impressive. How did you develop that reputation?
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Well, as I told did you, Eddie, since I’ve been working with leaders for so many years, it was always the difficult conversation that they struggled with. And so, I spent years teaching different techniques like conflict resolution and assertiveness and fierce conversations but it was always focused on what the leader said. And when I found coaching, it was more about how leaders listen. And I said “That’s how you change your conversation.” So what leaders are always wanting to do is have people do things differently and to think differently but, again, you can’t do that by telling them “You must think differently” or coercing them. They always say “Well, I’m influencing them” when really it’s just manipulation and most people know it and they resist it. So finding a way that leaders can have impactful conversations that can really in one conversation change people’s minds and their behavior forever, that’s what impressed me and that’s why I went into studying it as a science and becoming an expert in how we do this because that’s what I do. I’m obsessed with learning how does this work and how I teach it. So I’ve spent years figuring that out.
Eddie Turner:
Now, when many people hear the phrase “mind changing conversations,” some might confuse that with manipulation. So can you tease out for what you mean in what you do and why this is not the ladder?
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Well, that’s kind of to get them to see how can I do this. Even though they may think that that’s what they want to do, how can I change their minds? I mean that’s what we’re doing all day long, right? It’s all over social media. It’s all over our interactions. I write for Psychology Today and I’ve had quite a few posts go viral and one of my viral posts is How To Read People’s Minds. And, no, I’m not trying to make them be psychic but when you’re curious and you notice their emotional reaction and ask really good questions to help them think for themselves, it helps you understand them, which in essence is reading their mind. So when you say how to change people’s minds, what I mentioned to you before, Eddie, is that when we practice coaching, it actually impacts a different part of the brain than when we tell people what’s best for them or try to mentor them. And it hits the middle brain. This is our source of creativity and seeing things in a whole new way. And when you share reflections to get people to think about their thinking and then ask curious questions about that, it actually goes deeper into their brain and they start shifting their frames and their stories and their perceptions in a way that they see themselves and the world in a broader format. It was limiting before. Now they see new things about themselves in the world. That changes their mind forever. You can’t go back once you have a new perspective. And so it does change people’s minds. In one conversation you can do this and that’s what I write about.
Eddie Turner:
That’s powerful. So you can change people’s minds by changing their perceptions and the power is it comes from within them and that’s why it is so much different than manipulation and that’s something that is equipping them for further growth and development.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Absolutely. I mean when you tell people “You need to see it differently,” well, you know that doesn’t work.
Eddie Turner:
No, not at all, not at all.

So you discuss some of this in your work entitled The Discomfort Zone. Can you tell us what the discomfort zone is and why it matters?

Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
It’s interesting because some people, without reading the description of the book, I had somebody on Amazon write a review and said “I bought this book because I thought it was going to teach me how to be more comfortable in these conversations and instead, she’s teaching me how to make people uncomfortable.” And I’m like “Well, if you would’ve read the description, you would’ve known that what I have found in mentoring coaches for years and working with leaders that at the moment that a conversation gets uncomfortable, it’s like they mentally runaway, sometimes physically, they don’t move in to the discomfort to find what’s inside of this, what is this representing” because really it takes a moment of discomfort for us to be open to learning. If we’re not uncomfortable, we’re just like building on what we think we already know but when you reflect back to me the story I just told you and then you ask me a question about my belief around that story and what other elements am I missing, that might not feel comfortable for me in the moment because I’m starting to look at myself but if I don’t look at myself, I’m not going to learn and grow. If I don’t look at my stories, if I don’t look for the gaps in my logic and the limiting beliefs that I have framing my stories, the story can’t change.
Eddie Turner:
I’m glad you said that because when I read in your book that you said leaders have to be comfortable with disruption and tension and a conversation rotation because this creates the discomfort zone in which new ideas are birthed, when I read that, I exclaimed “Wow!” For many people I know, this would actually trigger the fight or flight response that we hear so much about rather than staying in that discomfort that was created. So you touched on that a little bit but can you tell me a little bit more about the importance of what you mean in that statement?
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
What I had said about how many times people run away from a conversation that’s starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable, that there’s some tension, the person might be defensive and that’s the moment we need to stay with it. This is where emotional intelligence comes in to recognize when I’m uncomfortable with their discomfort and then just to breathe it out and come back and be present with the person to ask them “So what’s making you uncomfortable in this moment? Where’s the conflict for you?”
Eddie Turner:
Are you saying to ask the other person?
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Yeah, you ask the person those questions but you can’t if you’re stuck in your own discomfort. Again, you notice when you start to feel uncomfortable as a listener, breathe because you’re probably holding your breath and remember that the person, if they’re uncomfortable, then this is a fabulous we list learning opportunity. So if you really want to help them, you got to get comfortable with their tension, with their discomfort so you can help them process it so they can see new possibilities.
Eddie Turner:
So I found myself kind of holding my breath before you had that. So I had to hold myself.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Yeah, right.
Eddie Turner:
So step one is recognize your own tension.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Yes.
Eddie Turner:
And then when you’ve recognized your tension, ask the other person about their tension and what’s making them feel that way because of the response that they’ve elicited inside of you.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Yeah. I mean it’s so powerful just to say “Wow! You seem to have tightened a little a little bit and you got quiet. Can you tell me what’s going on?” Just as simple as that, to get them to be looking at “What is making me feel this way in this moment?” So we notice there experience and then just be curious about it.
Eddie Turner:
Very nice.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
I want to say, Eddie, too when you mentioned about disruptions, many of the neuroscientists and the people who write, the behavioral economists like Daniel Kahneman say people get really stuck in their thinking patterns even if these patterns don’t serve them but they can’t undo that. They need an external disruption in order to rattle and free themselves from these patterns that they’re stuck in. That disruption generally comes in a form of a reflection where I just share with you what I heard you say or saw you express and a question. So we have to get comfortable with doing that kind of disruption of their thinking to help them think in a different way.
Eddie Turner:
Now, I’m glad you said that as well because that leads to something else I read that I want to ask you about, the Idea that you just talked about the external force that will trigger this via reflection and allowing the person to hear or see what they just gave to you, the recipient. You said your book for the same reason you can’t tickle yourself, you can’t fully explore your own thoughts.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Right.
Eddie Turner:
Is that what you mean what you just explained on that?
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Sure. Your listeners, I want you all to try tickle yourself. Your brain says “I know what you’re doing. I’m not going to let you do that” but if somebody else comes at you, they only have to touch you, they just have to wiggle their fingers, you’ll probably laugh. So it’s the same thing when we try to analyze our own thoughts. It’s our ego. Ego is just definition of who I think I am and how I see the world. The ego throws up a wall and says “No, I’m not going to let you do that because this is how I navigate your day. I take care of you. So we’re not going to evaluate thinking.” So what happens when I start to analyze my own thoughts, I rationalize my thinking, but if somebody else outside of you, and usually I’m thinking of a coach or somebody using a coaching approach, shares a reflection and a question, then it breaks through that ego barrier and we can then stop and question our own thinking. So that’s how that works.
Eddie Turner:
Thank you, Marcia. So, would you say that this is one of the reasons why senior leaders in organizations have trouble analyzing their behavior and sometimes end up in their own echo chamber, as some might say, because other people aren’t going to tell them the higher they get in an organization what the truth is perhaps about their behavior. And so they just have their own confirmation biases because they continue to get rewarded with higher positions because they are the way they are.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Well, there are two things. One, the main reason is we have assessments, 360 assessments, engagements, surveys. It’s an external source. And then when we give them feedback and coach them with this information, then it’s far more powerful than them trying to figure out “Why is what I’m doing not working?” but you’re absolutely right, there was a great article written by a guy named Hal Gregersen, it’s a Harvard Business Review article called the CEO Bubble, and he says that especially at a CEO level people aren’t going to tell you the truth. They’re not going to tell you what you’re doing wrong. So you have to go out there and seek people’s input and what is it that they need from you differently and what challenges are they facing that you can help them with because you’re just not going to see it and people won’t be honest with you. So that’s why I love using some assessments when I coach higher level leaders or do live interviews with their leadership team and other people that are impacted by them.
Eddie Turner:
What is your favorite assessment?
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Well, I do a lot of emotional intelligence work. So I’ve been using the EQI 2.0. And it was different when I started using it 20 years ago. So I do that but most companies I work with have 360. So I’ll just use whatever they have. I don’t like things that are too complex. I like simple things. Even if it’s communication, I’ll use the DiSC assessment but honestly I like doing live interviews, doing like five or six interviews with, if they have a boss, with their boss, a couple of their peers, and a couple of people who report to them and then I just gather it together and create a generalized report because people don’t always trust assessments but it’s interesting when you have a conversation with them and they know it’s confidential and that’s going to be a generalized report, they will be open to you. So I prefer just doing interviews for my leaders.
Eddie Turner:
Very nice, very nice. So we’re talking to the top female coach in the world Dr. Marcia Reynolds and she is helping us understand how to have meaningful conversations. We’ll continue this conversation right after this.

This podcast is sponsored by Eddie Turner LLC. Organizations who need to accelerate the development of their leaders call Eddie Turner, the Leadership Excelerator. Eddie works with leaders to accelerate performance and drive impact. Call Eddie Turner to help your leaders one on one as their coach or to inspire them as a group through the power of facilitation or a keynote address. Visit EddieTurnerLLC.com to learn more.

Hi. This is Dr. Steven Stein, psychologist and the founder of MHS Assessments and you’re listening to the Keep Leading Podcast with Eddie Turner.

Eddie Turner:
Okay, we’re back everyone. We’re talking to the top female coach in the world Dr. Marcia Reynolds and she’s helping us understand how to have meaningful conversations and she’s able to do that because she is truly the authority when it comes to conversations. She is a global expert in holding mind changing conversations.

So we were talking before the break there, Marcia, about emotional intelligence and some of the assessments that you use but is there a way that you would say that people can use their emotions to influence and inspire people as a leader?

Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Well, as a leader you set the emotional tone of any conversation. So the brain tends to align itself with the emotions of what it determines is the socially dominant person in the room and hopefully that you if you’re the leader but whatever you even walk in the door with, they’re going to sense and either they will align with that or they’re going to resist it if it’s a difficult emotion that scares them. So to be very conscious of the emotions that you bring in with you, not just when you sit down with the moment you enter a room, is vital to whatever success you think you might have in a conversation. So you have to set the emotional town before you do anything else.
Eddie Turner:
Indeed. And one of the things I heard you say is that your emotions are even more powerful than well rehearsed words when it comes to these conversations.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Absolutely. People will trust what they’re feeling in the moment much more than whatever words you’ve chosen to say to them. Again, I go back for years when I was teaching leadership, it was always “Well, here’s what you say in these moments. Here’s how you give feedback. Here’s how you delegate.” And when I found coaching, I’m like “Oh, well, that’s why none of that worked” because it’s really, as I said before, not so much what you say but how you listen. There’s not just paying attention. There’s a how to listening that people feel comfortable with you.
Eddie Turner:
Now, along those lines of how you listen, how you pay attention, as I mentioned earlier, I had the opportunity to be a part of your inaugural Coach Mastery Workshop and it was a phenomenal experience and I have used a lot of what I’ve learned since the completion of that program but there’s one thing that you said get that I continue to repeat. In fact, I was interviewed for a program in Asia just yesterday and I cited this. You said that when we were talking about mastery, we were all thinking about the skills and different techniques and whatnot, you said that mastery is not the perfection of skills. It is the deepening of presence. How does one deepen their presence? I know the answer because you already told us but for my listeners, how do we do that?
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Well, it’s not just in coaching, Eddie, that being very present with people so we can truly hear what they’re saying and what they’re expressing and what they’re not saying but when you think about any sport, the best know how to shift into the moment and be fully present and not be distracted by anything else. It’s called in the zone. And it was years ago I was working with a sports psychologist where I was asked to come up with a formula for anybody to be in the zone no matter what it is they’re doing. And so in order to pull yourself into the present moment, the first thing you have to do is relax your body. Most people think it’s about self talk and none of the top athletes that I worked with for that program said that they used self talk. They said “If I say to myself “Oh, you’re a winner, you’re a winner,” then the back of my brain goes “No, you’re not. You’re a loser.”” And that’s when they choke. They said they had to breathe out, release the tension in their body so then they can access their brain, go to their brain, clear their mind and quickly put their awareness in the center of their body. In martial arts they call this your point of strength. It’s just below your navel. And all of the athletes said that “When I’m aware of what’s going on in my body is when I can do my best.” So that awareness of our core, that center, the bottom of your breath, that if you keep your awareness there and stay out of your head, you’re much more control. So you relax your body, clear your mind, put your awareness in the center of your body and then I add in that we don’t stay in our center that long so you anchor your thoughts with one or two words. So in coaching it’s often “I’m curious and I care.” It could be “I’m common courageous.” It could be “I’m determined.” Whatever it is that you want to feel in that moment, you choose as those words so every time you start going back to your chatty brain, you just think “How I want to feel and you breathe in curious and care. And it brings you into this present moment with the person that you’re with. And what’s so powerful about that? Not only will you listen to them better but when you’re present, they feel safe with you. And creating psychological safety is the most important thing we can do in our conversations in order to have them be effective so people feel that they can open to you, they can discuss things that aren’t comfortable. They have to feel safe. So being present helps people to feel safe with you.
Eddie Turner:
Excellent. And thank you for that point of clarification as well because, yes, you taught us that in a coaching context but I thought it was also apropos here in the conversational context that we’re discussing. So thank you for outlining that. In fact, I felt a moment of Zen almost come over me as you were explaining that. My way back too because that was the first time I heard it, 1993 or in the ‘90s I should say, with Michael Jordan and The Bulls because that that was my hero growing up from basketball perspective. So Michael Jordan had a game there against the Portland Trailblazers. He was not known for shooting the three-point shot but at that game he broke the finals record for three-pointers because he hit six three-pointers. Michael Jordan was not known for shooting three-pointers but he went on to set the finals record by hitting six three-pointers and he blew away the Trailblazers in that first game. And there’s this moment they play all the time where he kind of shrug his shoulders. You can’t see me doing this but he shrugs his shoulders as if to say he looks at the sideline and says “I don’t know what’s going on.” And they asked him afterwards and described being in the zone. It was a similar ability he talked about in the game against the Celtics when he went off for 63 points. And so, yes, that context is the first time I heard it. And so seeing how we can get into the zone, not just in the sports world or in a coaching world, but in our daily conversations where we want to have an impact as leaders.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Right. Yeah, they’re good teachers.
Eddie Turner:
Very good teachers, yes.

So, Marcia, we’re having this conversation and many of these points have come from your book Outsmart Your Brain and The Discomfort Zone but you’re working on a new book. Can you tell us about that?

Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Right. It doesn’t have such a catchy title as the other two. It’s called The Coach’s Guide to Reflective Inquiry.
Eddie Turner:
The Coach’s Guide to Reflective Inquiry, okay.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
And I’m very proud of this book. I’ve been teaching coaching skills for over 20 years and I can now say that there are certain things missing that when people learn coaching is like they think it’s all about the question. It’s not all about the question. I call it the cult of the powerful question, that there’s far more to coaching than just asking questions. In fact, my favorite quote from a guy named John Dewey who wrote a book called How We Think that defined coaching in 1910. He said that questions seek answers but inquiry provokes insight.
Eddie Turner:
Say that one more time. I want to just isolate that.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Questions seek answers but inquiry provokes insight.
Eddie Turner:
I love it.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
So inquiry is not just about asking questions. There’s a lot more to it. And he’s the one who defined reflective inquiry. So what is the reflective part in how are we missing that and what are some of the coaching myths that are out there? And this is for coaches but it’s for leaders as well because using a coaching approach to your conversations are going to be far more effective in getting the results you want.
Eddie Turner:
Well, I am so happy to share that and I will also say this, that you don’t know that I’m going to say, is you have an article on your website entitled Stop Trying To Ask Good Questions and it’s in the blog section and OutsmartYourBrain.com. And I share this with people because one of the things you were working with me on is getting out of my head and to stop trying to ask good questions. If people would like to get a little bit of a sneak peek into some of your wisdom and what you’ve taught around this, you’ve written a wonderful article that everyone has access to.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Absolutely. Well, actually, my last few blog posts were directly from the upcoming book. It was helping me sort through what I was writing. There’ll be more to come.
Eddie Turner:
Isn’t that a nice teaser? So that is a book written by a coach for coaches, it sounds like. And can other leaders benefit from this if they’re not a coach?
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Well, absolutely. I teach leaders coach to leaders around the world and it’s becoming accepted. I mean even Google has coaching skills as their number one leadership skill.
Eddie Turner:
How about that?
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Yeah, and leaders need to know how to coach. I actually think this simplifies coaching. I think so many leaders, they don’t have time to do that but what I’m giving them is this is not going to take much time. If you follow what I write in the book, you’re going to find that coaching is much easier than you think, especially if you’re not sitting there thinking “Oh, what’s the question I should ask you?” It’s not about that. It’s just about “I’m listening to you. I receive what you give me and I just give it back to you.” So I’m going to simplify coaching for leaders in this book.
Eddie Turner:
I love it. I can’t wait to get my hands on a copy of that. And I agree with that premise, obviously, and I also teach a program that is not directed for folks who want to become a certified coach. They’re just leaders, managers, HR folks who are interested in having coaching skills and that program is for the Association for Talent Development, their coaching certificate program. So it is an important skill. And to your point, organizations at all levels are seeing that this is an important skill set to have. Interesting to know that Google considers it number one. I didn’t know that. So, thank you for sharing that tip.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Yeah, in their oxygen study they came up with that was the number and skill and I think emotional intelligence was number three.
Eddie Turner:
How about that? Two in-demand skills that a lot of folks are talking about and a lot of things are being written about but it still seems to be an invasive skill that folks have yet to attain to the level they’d like. So certainly people like you, your work both as a practitioner and also as a thought leader who’s putting these things down in writing go a long way in helping us all improve.

So, Marcia, tell us, if you would, what is the main point you want our listeners to take away from our conversation today.

Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Well, I think you and I have discussed a number of times the importance of being present, that people won’t even listen to you if they don’t sense that you’re fully present with them. So whether it’s setting your emotional tone, remembering who you are as a leader to put the person in high regard that you have to create this what I call a safety bubble where they feel safe with you and that’s based in your presence.
Eddie Turner:
Wonderful. Thank you for sharing that, Marcia. And since this is the Keep Leading Podcast, we like to give leaders a quote that they can reflect on to help them keep leading. Do you have a quote you’d like to share?
Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
They want you to be present more than they need you to be perfect.
Eddie Turner:
Okay, wonderful. They want you to be present more than they want you to be perfect. What a nice thing for us to remember as leaders as we keep leading.

Marcia, where can my leaders learn more about you? I’ve enjoyed this conversation. I hate to stop.

Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Well, of course, my website which, thank you, you’ve mentioned because I do have a blog there. The website site is OutsmartYourBrain.com. So they can go there. They can find all my books I’ve written there. There are a lot of free resources other than the blog. There are videos. And if they look under The Discomfort Zone, they’ll find all kinds of tools and resources that they can use. Of course I’m on LinkedIn. I write for Psychology Today. So they can find me around the internet.
Eddie Turner:
Excellent. Yes, you are available everywhere. There’s something else I want folks to know and that is that you recently delivered a stellar TED Talk. And so we want folks also look for How To Use Anger As A Force For Good and this will be in the show notes and a link to that will also be on the page I create for you on my side as well.

So, Marcia, thank you for being a guest on the Keep Leading Podcast.

Dr. Marcia Reynolds:
Thank you, Eddie, for having me. I truly enjoyed the conversation.
Eddie Turner:
And thank you for listening. That concludes this episode, everyone. I’m Eddie Turner, the Leadership Excelerator, reminding you that leadership is not about our title or our position. Leadership is an activity. Leadership is action. It’s not the case of once a leader, always a leader. It’s not a garment we put on and take off. We must be a leader at our core and allow it to emanate in all we do. So, whatever you’re doing, always keep leading.

Thank you for listening to your host Eddie Turner on The Keep Leading Podcast. Please remember to subscribe to The Keep Leading Podcast on iTunes or wherever you listen. For more information about Eddie Turner’s work please visit EddieTurnerLLC.com.

Thank you for listening to C Suite Radio, turning the volume up on business.

The Keep Leading!™ podcast is for people passionate about leadership. It is dedicated to leadership development and insights. Join your host Eddie Turner, The Leadership Excelerator® as he speaks with accomplished leaders and people of influence across the globe as they share their journey to leadership excellence. Listen as they share leadership strategies, techniques and insights. For more information visit eddieturnerllc.com or follow Eddie Turner on Twitter and Instagram at @eddieturnerjr. Like Eddie Turner LLC on Facebook. Connect with Eddie Turner on LinkedIn.