Howard Prager
Executive Coach and President at Advance Learning Group
Make Someone’s Day as a Leader
Episode Summary
In this episode of the Keep Leading!® podcast Howard Prager shares his tips and stories on how making someone’s day helps you too!
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Bio
Executive coach, author, and consultant Howard Prager helps organizations create and strengthen their leaders through programs designed to develop, grow and retain bench strength through coaching, leadership development, and mentoring. A member of the Marshall Goldsmith 100 Coaches, Howard is certified in stakeholder-centered coaching and has won 8 professional awards for outstanding learning programs. From this experience, he discovered that making someone’s day makes a huge difference to the person being helped and the person doing the helping. Howard’s soon-to-be-published book helps introverts and extroverts learn what they can do to make someone’s day in person, online, at work, and home.
Howard has an MBA from the University of Michigan, Ross School of Business, and BA from Northwestern University. He has taught and served on staff at the University of Notre Dame Mendoza College of Business and Lake Forest Graduate School of Management.
Website
https://howardhprager.com
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hprager/
Twitter
https://twitter.com/chihow
Leadership Quote
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Transcript
The key to sustainable leadership lies in the ability to thrive during uncertainty, ambiguity, and change. Grand Heron International brings you the Coaching Assistance Program, giving your employees on-demand coaching to manage through a challenging situation and arrive at a solution. Visit GrandHeronInternational.Ca/Podcast to learn more.
This podcast is part of the C Suite Radio Network, turning the volume up on business.
Welcome to the Keep Leading!® Podcast, the podcast dedicated to promoting leadership development and sharing leadership insights. Here’s your host, The Leadership Excelerator®, Eddie Turner.
Eddie Turner:
Hello, everyone! Welcome to the Keep Leading!® Podcast, the podcast dedicated to leadership development and insights. I’m your host Eddie Turner, The Leadership Excelerator®. I work with leaders to accelerate performance and drive impact through the power of executive and leadership coaching, facilitation, and professional speaking.When is the last time someone told you “You made my day”? When is the last time you made someone else’s day? My guest today says he has discovered that making someone’s day makes a huge difference both to the person being helped and the person doing the helping. His soon-to-be published book helps both introverts and extroverts learn what they need to do to make someone’s day in person, online, at work, and at home. In this podcast, my guest Howard Prager will explain why it’s important for us as leaders to make someone’s day.
Let me tell you a little bit about Howard Prager. Howard Prager is an executive coach, author and a consultant who helps organizations create and strengthen their leaders through programs designed to develop, grow, and retain the strength of their bench. And he’s also one of Marshall Goldsmith’s 100 coaches. Howard has won eight professional awards for outstanding learning programs. I’m excited to welcome my fellow Northwestern Wildcat Howard Prager to the Keep Leading!® Podcast.
Welcome, Howard.
Howard Prager:
THANK you, Eddie. I feel like I should have the marching band playing Go You Northwestern as you did that beautiful introduction. So, thank you.
Eddie Turner:
“Go cats!”, right?
Howard Prager:
Right, right.
Eddie Turner:
So, Howard, you and I have known each other for years initially through the talent development circle, our ATD world, and then now as colleagues in the MG100.
Howard Prager:
Yes, yes. Colleagues almost puts it in in a smaller light than it is but before and now it is we’ve been people who have been leaders in our field, in our organizations and continue to give back, grow, and develop others.
Eddie Turner:
Yes, it has truly been a joy to be able to be connected with you all these years and now to get to know you better as we’re doing work inside of the MG100 family.
Howard Prager:
Yes.
Eddie Turner:
So, now, I have to ask you what does it mean to make someone’s day because going through my mind is that famous Clint Eastwood scene. I won’t try to do the Dirty Hairy voice but he also says “Go ahead and make my day.”
Howard Prager:
Right, right. he said “Make my day.” So just to not confuse, this is to make someone’s day.
Eddie Turner:
Oh, somebody else’s day, okay.
Howard Prager:
Right, right.
Eddie Turner:
Then we start there.
Howard Prager:
Okay, excellent. Thank you. So, make someone’s day is all about the large and small ways you can inspire others and it’s at a time that they need it most. It helps them and you really be your best by being able to say, do or have the right things that they need so that they can feel successful, empowered, able to move on.Let me start with a couple of stories if you don’t mind, Eddie, and I’ve got several stories about this to help people learn the concept of making someone’s day.
Eddie Turner:
Sure.
Howard Prager:
It started for me when I was commuting downtown Chicago and I was at the train station early one morning waiting for the 6:30 a.m. commuter train. And someone came up to me with a petition and they said “Would you mind signing my petition?” And I said “What is this for?” And she said “We want to get our candidate on the ballot,” which you need to do in Illinois is they need to have certain number of people who live in the area sign a petition. So, I asked her who it was. I said “Great” and I went ahead and signed and gave it back to her without thinking much about it. She took it and she looked up at me and she said “Oh my gosh, you made my day.”
Eddie Turner:
How about that.
Howard Prager:
And from that time, the whole train ride down town I thought about that. I thought about what is it that I did. All I did was sign a petition. Now, as I thought back about it, I thought “Maybe I was the first one, maybe she asked others, maybe it’s the first time she was doing this. I’m not sure” but to think that that was so powerful an action that it made her day and there’s what I call the boomerang effect because when you make someone else’s day, it also makes your day because you get some endorphin and a high from that as well.So, make someone’s day, I realize, this is really a powerful technique. It’s not just a pay it forward or do a good deed or do a good turn. It’s doing something at the right time when people need it. And that’s why it’s so powerful for leaders to be able to do in their organizations.
Eddie Turner:
So, you’re saying it doesn’t have to be something terribly huge or significant.
Howard Prager:
It’s huge and significant for the person at that time. So, yes, it can be a very small action. It could be saying thank you. It could be a smile. It could be giving some attention. Let me give you a quick story about Doug Conant, the former CEO of Campbell Soup and he was credited with turning around that company and he said the way he did it was he wrote 200 to 250 notes every week, handwritten notes, to leaders and managers throughout Campbell’s, praising them for some action that they did. And he points out in his book TouchPoints that smallest of actions that make the biggest difference in motivating leaders. And that’s what makes someone’s day is all about. And so, here’s an action, here’s a whole book in in concept by Doug that really talks about what he did to make someone’s day in his company.
Eddie Turner:
Thank you for sharing that. When we think about the leadership implications of this concept, what makes this a leadership competency?
Howard Prager:
Yeah, that’s great question. It’s a leadership competency because as leaders, your employees count on you, your customers count on you, your vendors count on you and, of course, your organization does too and you want and need to inspire them, to strengthen them and to support them. You want to retain your best talent especially during these crazy COVID-19 times and you want to retain your customers. And you can help do that by making someone’s day. And, as I said, it’s amazingly simple. It doesn’t have to cost much. It just needs to happen when they need it and in a way that helps the most.
Eddie Turner:
And so, we see from the example of the leader of Campbell’s Soup that you mentioned, the CEO, that this certainly is something that leaders want to add to their arsenal of skills and competencies and this one doesn’t cost anything.
Howard Prager:
Right. It doesn’t have to. So, as I said, it can happen in small and big ways. So, larger ways that do cost something is people are motivated in different ways, as I’ve said. And so, some people like learning or education is something that motivates them. It’s a way for them to grow and it’s a way for them to be able to develop.
Eddie Turner:
Absolutely. Sorry, I was making the point that you made with the Campbell Soup, how he handwrote a thank you note. So, in that sense, it didn’t cost anything but, yes, in other cases, it may be that it will cost.
Howard Prager:
Right, right.
Eddie Turner:
It doesn’t always have to cost.
Howard Prager:
Exactly. And that’s the thing, Eddie. It’s a great comment is that there’s so many actions you can take as a leader to inspire and help your team and to help other leaders within the organization that doesn’t have to cost anything. It just takes some attention. Other times, you do want to invest something and know that you’re going to get back as well.
Eddie Turner:
And especially during this time, it’s even more important, as you said, during this crisis that we’re going through because many organizations are watching their bottom line but doing these small acts can go a long way to making someone’s day and supporting the organization during this difficult time.
Howard Prager:
So true. So well said. And you’re right, we’re going to be needing to come out of this stronger, more flexible and more focused on what needs to be done to stay as a going concern. And that’s what we all want to do, right? We want our organizations and we want us to succeed. And to do that, we have to have our people succeed. So, we need to find ways to be able to ensure we’ve got the right people and motivate them and inspire them in the right way so that’ll happen.
Eddie Turner:
So, you’ve given us a couple of examples. Are there other examples you can provide for those who are listening to us wondering “Well, I’d like to get started but those two examples you said so far may not work for my personality.”
Howard Prager:
Sure, sure. Let me give you some examples of people who I’ve spoken to and let me share really how simple it can be to make someone’s day. And part of that is looking at, and I talk to people about what was their best boss and best boss experience, and I hope your listeners, as I say that, are thinking back to what their best boss experience is or has been and how they’ve been able to become a best boss as well. Unfortunately, if you try googling it, you get 10 times as many examples of worst bosses as you do best bosses. So, something that should be so simple and easy, people don’t necessarily do. And so, it’s important to be able to make sure that we put the effort and energy in.So, here are some great examples. I love this just because of the way it ended. “My best boss had this magic where he could just make you feel like you could do absolutely anything. He instilled confidence like no one I’ve ever known. There’s a lot of lip service every day to team players but at the risk of sounding like a cliché, he really had a way of making you feel like you’re part of a team. You knew what you did mattered and it mattered to the company and it mattered to him. I don’t have any idea how he did it. He didn’t give effusive compliments. He didn’t give empty praise. There are no weekly luncheons or gift cards. He just said “Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you” and you knew he meant it. There was never a question that he had your back. He engendered a loyalty that’s so rare. I haven’t worked for him in years but if he needed a kidney, I’d see if I was a match.”
Eddie Turner:
Oh wow! Talk about making an impression.
Howard Prager:
Yeah, yeah. And as I said, unfortunately also, we don’t have a lot of best bosses in in our career but when they come out, they stand out and they stand out not for the big grandiose things they do but for the little things they do, for the way that they’re open and honest, that they communicate fairly and clearly, that they’re positive and enthusiastic, and they ask how they can help you. They introduce you to their bosses and promote your work in every opportunity. They take responsibility and don’t shift blame. They do all they can to make your day, to make your job and to make your career.
Eddie Turner:
Okay. Well, I’m talking to Howard Prager and we’re talking about how leaders can make someone’s day and we’ll have more with Howard right after this.
This podcast is sponsored by Eddie Turner LLC. Organizations who need to accelerate the development of their leaders call Eddie Turner, The Leadership Excelerator®. Eddie works with leaders to accelerate performance and drive impact. Call Eddie Turner to help your leaders one on one as their coach or to inspire them as a group through the power of facilitation or a keynote address. Visit EddieTurnerLLC.com to learn more.
This is Whitney Johnson, host of the Disrupt Yourself podcast and you are listening to the Keep Leading!® Podcast with Eddie Turner.
Eddie Turner:
We’re back. I’m talking to Howard Prager, an executive coach and one of Marshall Goldsmith’s 100 coaches and we’re talking about how leaders can make someone’s day.Howard, before the break, you were telling us how we can make someone’s day as a leader at work. What about at home? Is it important to make someone’s day there as well?
Howard Prager:
Absolutely, Eddie. It’s so important to make someone’s day with our families We live with them, we love them, they’re with us throughout the journey, right? And so, why not try to make their day too, to make their day and help them see themselves and for you to see them in a new light.
Eddie Turner:
And what makes this important besides the fact that we’re together with them all the time? Is there anything along the lines of congruence that makes this something we should consider?
Howard Prager:
We grow up with whether it’s siblings or friends or family and they get this idea of who we are. And I think what you want to do is you want to both keep that congruent, as you say, and you also want to make sure that they see how you’re developing and how you’re growing. And believe me, they got all got a stake in you, Eddie. Everybody wants you to succeed. No one doesn’t want you to succeed. I think of the things I learned from my mom and dad. As a matter of fact, I’ve got to tell you a friend of mine who you may know, Ed Betof, was Chief Learning Officer at Becton and Dickinson and he and his wife put a book out called Leadership Lessons for Any Occasion: Stories of Our Mothers and it was all about stories of our mothers and what they did to impact us in our lives. And it was just beautiful. He had gotten to know my mom and he asked me if I wanted to contribute to it and I loved being able to do that and to really to reflect and think about what are the things I learned from her. And there’s so much when we really stop and think about it.
Eddie Turner:
I like that title. I think that is definitely a book worth reading and that’s a title I’d love to interview on the show.
Howard Prager:
All right.
Eddie Turner:
Now, is there a difference between whether someone is an introvert or an extrovert in terms of how they apply this concept?
Howard Prager:
Excellent question. And, certainly, there is, right? For extroversion, there’s just so many different ways that we can go ahead and do it. It could be a smile, a word, a greeting, a comment, some help but for introverts, that’s much harder. As matter of fact, I just read how introverts are thriving so much with this work from home and not having to see people in the office all the time, that they’re being much more productive and happy but they can make someone’s day too and it’s simple. And this is going to sound really stupid, Eddie, because we’re all so technologically smart in some ways but the LIKE button was created just for that, to provide a statement of approval, the same type of LIKE button that we see on Facebook and social media. Ted Koppel interviewed the creator of this LIKE button and he said “I was tasked with finding out how can we make it really easy for people to share little bits of positivity and affirmation in the world.” Isn’t that beautiful?
Eddie Turner:
It really is.
Howard Prager:
And then just think about when you go beyond that, when you comment on something, when you more than like it and you make a comment on it. How good that feels to you and how much that is important to you. When people have birthdays these days and the birthday is known on social media, they get deluged with comments and likes. And when I say deluged, maybe it’s 10, maybe it’s 20 maybe, it’s 100, maybe it’s 200, whatever it is. It’s a lot of positivity coming at you. And as managers, leaders, we can do that with our people, with our people who are introverts and prefer not having that public action. We need to be able to do that with them as well.I’ll give you an example and it’s about my son Jacob. He was working for a large accounting firm as an industrial engineer and he got a note from the partner in charge at this accounting firm. He had been working several days without sleep on a new software program that was going live for a large client. And the partner called out Jacob’s work in a thank you and copied the whole executive suite.
Eddie Turner:
How about that.
Howard Prager:
Can you imagine how motivated Jacob felt after seeing something like that. What type of effort do you think he’s going to put in? Do you think he’ll do that again?
Eddie Turner:
Of course, he will.
Howard Prager:
So, it really doesn’t take much but that’s a nice way. It goes back to Doug Conant, with the idea of putting it in writing. That’s a great example of how you can make someone’s day for an introvert.
Eddie Turner:
It definitely goes back to that example of that CEO and here, again, you’re sharing an example that’s close to home and certainly an example of another senior executive taking the same type of an action of the power of a couple of simple words.
Howard Prager:
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Eddie Turner:
So, what else are we missing around this topic, Howard?
Howard Prager:
Eddie, it’s interesting. At first, I didn’t think how can I write a book about this. And it just started to flow and the more I looked into it, the more I wrote, the more I researched, the more I learned. So, for example, I’ve been talking about this neurological effect and that’s been studied quite a bit. And especially when you talk about introverts, my gosh, Facebook has a team of scientists looking at the impact and how that helps people and how we feel uplifted by it. Neurologists describe it as an endorphin rush that you get from doing it – your brain feels good, you experience an emotional uplift and it changes the course in a day that provides a powerful positive impact on you. And, as I said, the person who’s doing it gets the boomerang effect because when you realize and say “Gee, you made my day,” they get that back as well. So, that’s one of the pieces I think is just really powerful about this whole process.The other things are just ways that we can use it and work and be. I talked a little bit about the past and celebrations are great ways to make someone’s day. And we’ve all got different traditions at work in our workplaces. When I worked in executive education, we did a crazy thing. Whenever we got a new client and program, we got this big ugly plastic frog that croaked when you turned the button on. And we would croak it out loud for everyone to hear whenever that happened. And we used the frog because our name was originally ‘Leap’. And so, we would decide “Well, frog must be our mascot” sort of thing. And when that awful croaking sound happened, people would gather around from all over to learn about the latest client and the program we would be offering. And it sounds really nuts but when you’ve worked hard to bring in a new program and have a chance to share it with others, it really makes your day for you to be able to croak that frog.
Eddie Turner:
All right. Well, thank you for sharing that, Howard. What is the key message you want to leave our listeners with today?
Howard Prager:
I think the key message really is, first of all, to be purposeful, to choose to make someone’s day and to do so by observing the world around you, both online and in person, to determine what may be needed from what you observe and to be spontaneous and really being able to just go and do it. And reflect and see how it happens. People don’t always say “You made my day” but it’s amazing how many times they do. And so, what I’d like to do is just encourage all of the listeners to realize that they can be making someone’s day at work as leaders, at home as parents, and with their friends in the community. And as they do that, it’s going to have a huge impact on others that they’re doing it for.
Eddie Turner:
Is there a piece of advice that you live by or a quote that you use that helps you to keep leading?
Howard Prager:
My favorite saying is that “Anything is possible” and I really truly believe that. The things that I’ve been able to experience and have happened in life are just things that if I planned for them, they wouldn’t have happened early on. Most of us have careers and lives that’s not a straight line to the top, right? We have our ups and downs and everything else but to realize and to always, remember especially when you’re at that low point, that anything is possible. I think that’s something that keeps me inspired and motivated.
Eddie Turner:
Wonderful. And where can my listeners learn more about you, Howard?
Howard Prager:
Thanks for asking, Eddie. My organization is called Advance Learning Group and they can find that on the web and they can look me up on LinkedIn under my name Howard Prager and they’ll be able to find articles and other pieces that I’ve developed and shared.
Eddie Turner:
Wonderful. Well, we will put all of that in the show notes to make it easy for folks to find you and connect with you and follow you.Thank you, Howard.
And thank you for listening. That concludes this episode of the Keep Leading!® Podcast. I’m Eddie Turner, The Leadership Excelerator®, reminding you that leadership is not about our title or our position. Leadership is an activity. Leadership is action. It’s not the case of once a leader, always a leader. It’s not a garment we put on and take off. We must be a leader at our core and allow it to emanate in all we do. So, whatever you’re doing, always keep leading.
Thank you for listening to your host Eddie Turner on the Keep Leading!® Podcast. Please remember to subscribe to the Keep Leading!® Podcast on iTunes or wherever you listen. For more information about Eddie Turner’s work, please visit EddieTurnerLLC.com.
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The Keep Leading!® podcast is for people passionate about leadership. It is dedicated to leadership development and insights. Join your host Eddie Turner, The Leadership Excelerator® as he speaks with accomplished leaders and people of influence across the globe as they share their journey to leadership excellence. Listen as they share leadership strategies, techniques and insights. For more information visit eddieturnerllc.com or follow Eddie Turner on Twitter and Instagram at @eddieturnerjr. Like Eddie Turner LLC on Facebook. Connect with Eddie Turner on LinkedIn.